Is this a mental disorder or is it just strange?

Ok so I'm 14 all my life I've been living with my parents. They're sort of unstable. My mom hits me, I don't know if it's like illegal (do any of you know?) but since I was about 4 she's been hitting me on the head, arms, legs, kicking me she threatened menwith a key to my throat. My dad has highly debilitating OCD and he drinks every night to get rid of the symptoms (he hasn't told me any of this except I know for sure he has OCD). I have flashbacks of this, I'm highly impulsive and I do things other people clify as life threatening (eating sharpies, paint, jumping off a roof, eating staples falling down stairs purposely.) I have really fluctuating levels of self esteem. I self injure to stop my flashbacks and get rid of that terror that comes along with them. I scratch my head until it bleeds without thinking about it and my brain is infected with suicidal thoughts every night. I also can't relate to peoples emotions. If someone shares their emotion with me I can't empathize I just don't feel back for them. Is this really bad? Do i need like help? I kind of scare myself. Is this like a mental disorder or something? Thanks!